Pew! Pew! - Bite My Shiny Metal Pew! Page 8

  “This one would’ve enjoyed seeing you make Atiga wail like a newborn pup, again,” Nele offered as they all fell in step with Henar.

  That drew renewed laughter from the group.

  The auditorium seating was arranged in a semicircle, with over two hundred Kavii graduates ready for combat. The ceiling above was an interstellar map of the entire Kaviian Benevolency, star to star.

  Henar knew that map by heart. Every planet. Every star. Every moon. But gazing up while he took a seat was no less pleasing than when he’d first laid eyes on it cycles ago as a young pup. Ready...to serve the Benevolency. Noses and whiskers twitched in anticipation. A ripple of murmured conversations sounded as the graduates wondered what they would see.

  “What planet will it be, my furries?” Osefa asked.

  “This one hopes for a species that controls a planetary system.” Leakki rubbed his paws together. “The greater the challenge, the more satisfying the win.”

  Henar smiled at his friends’ enthusiasm. A planetary system would be nice, depending on the size. Hopefully not too big. As much as he wanted to serve the Benevolency, he’d heard about instances where young soldiers bit off too much on their first conquest assignment. However, he didn’t want an easy win. Hard-fought victories made one a better soldier to the Benevolency.

  The crowd quieted as an older Kavii took the stage below. He was a high-ranking military officer, shoots of white pockmarking his dark brown fur. The shapeless purple robe he wore billowed out around his hind legs with far too much dramatics for Henar’s taste. But this military official was legend.

  Ponoi, a one-time soldier without peer. Now he spoke to the soldiers of tomorrow and revealed their first assignment.

  Weird purple robe or not, Henar’s excitement bubbled through his veins like fire.

  “The Kavii Benevolency!” Ponoi boomed, his voice filling the auditorium. “The premier power in this chaotic galaxy. A force for good! A pillar for justice! A bastion of power!”

  The Kavii pontificated with such self-importance that Henar almost laughed. He swallowed his unintentional amusement as Ponoi continued with arms spread wide. “We spread our forces throughout the galaxy. Bestowing on many the wonders of our technology. The pleasure of our mercy. The gift...of our Benevolency!”

  “That one loves his own voice,” Leakki whispered.

  Henar swallowed another laugh. “A speck,” he whispered back.

  Osefa and another Kavii sitting a row back shushed their soft mockery.

  “Now this class,” Ponoi continued in histrionic fashion on the auditorium stage, “is one of the best that the Benevolency has to offer.” The older Kavii jabbed a finger at the map of the Benevolency above. “The brightest of stars in dark skies. The best soldiers to be produced from Benevolency military academies…”

  Ponoi’s monologuing on the star-shattering greatness of the Kavii and their conquest continued to where even a diehard like Henar could no longer contain his temper.

  Get. To. The Point, he mouthed.

  “We have taken a considerable portion of this galaxy into our domain,” Ponoi said, pacing now. His round eyes gleamed knowingly. “Many of the most advanced worlds bend to our unyielding might and martial skill.

  “Now, with our ever increasing population, the Benevolency must turn its eyes to resource planets,” he stated, wagging a pawed hand at the crowd. “While conquest of these kinds of planets might not be as...action-packed as other assignments, the Benevolency needs them in order to spread our interstellar seed across the cosmos.”

  “Sounds unclean…” Leakki teased quietly, poking at Nele’s shoulder, “and intriguing.”

  She gnashed her teeth at him, eyes burning. “Shut that black hole of a mouth!” she whispered sharply.

  Henar didn’t laugh or even smile. As he continued listening to Ponoi’s pontification, a sinking feeling began filling his stomach. Yet he could not figure out why.

  “And now,” the former soldier continued, gesturing with unnecessary theatrics. “You young soldiers will march forth into the black to conquer the next colony for the Kavii Benevolency. The next Dependency to further the Kavii’s glory. Soldiers. Behold the Benevolency’s next resource planet.”

  Ponoi stepped away from the center of the stage. Immediately, a 3D image of a planet floated in the space where he once stood. The audience leaned forward eagerly to behold this new world which would soon know the dominance of the Kavii. Henar shared none of the enthusiasm. The more he studied this planet, the larger the pit in his stomach grew. Smallish terrestrial world. Almost seventy percent of deep blue saltwater with large chunks of brown and green landmass covering part of the surface.

  Confusion and growing disappointment spread through portions of this audience as they studied the holoimage closer. Henar’s heart sank into his stomach. He didn’t need Ponoi to reveal this world’s name.

  “Some call it Terra,” the former soldier stated proudly. “Others call it Solara 3. But the inhabitants call it Earth.”

  And just like that, all traces of enthusiasm deflated out of the entire audience.

  “Are you fooling this one?” one of their fellow soldiers complained, and not quietly.

  Nele looked livid. “I can’t believe our target is Earth, a backwater pisshole.” She folded her arms indignantly.

  “This one heard Earth does not even have a single world government,” Leakki added unhelpfully.

  “Which means the conquest will be easy.” Henar shook his head, more downtrodden than before. “But this one wanted more of a challenge.”

  And the complaints continued growing in venom for a while.

  Henar did want a smaller engagement on his first mission. But this would not even be a fight. The Military Command saw him and his class as bottom feeders who were only good to conquer pisswater worlds. Guess this one has to prove myself to them yet again.

  Ponoi seemed either oblivious or willfully ignorant of the crowd’s disapproval. “Learn every inch of its surface, its species, its defense, and its natural resources. In the next month, you will step onto Earth’s primitive surface. Subjugate its backwater inhabitants and claim its resources.”

  Ponoi raised one curled paw into the air, black beady eyes gleaming. “In the Name of the Benevolency!”

  Despite his disappointment in the future colony world they would be invading, Henar shot up to his feet before anyone else and began clapping.

  “In the name of the Benevolency,” Henar bellowed. Every other soldier in the auditorium quickly concurred.

  But deep inside his core, Henar unleashed the same, filthy string of curses as Atiga had said earlier.

  Chapter 2

  The voyage to Earth took close to a month on a rotund Benevolency Dominator-class carrier. The whole time, Henar, his friends, and the five hundred other Kavii warriors chosen for this glorious mission were inundated with all things Earth. He stood in a learning chamber, bathed in a cascade of images and data fed directly into his brain.

  Within a week, Henar was a master of basic Earth knowledge. The population, the different subspecies, the countries that were the wealthiest and posed the largest military threats. The musical types, all which Henar hoped would be outlawed once the Benevolency took over. Humans were terrible singers. Apparently Earth’s ruling species, calling themselves humans, were bipedal with barely a hair on their bodies. They also dwarfed a full-grown Kavii in height and weight. As noted, no unified world government. No joint military. In fact, many of these human subspecies hated each other. The antiquated trinkets they touted as technology were laughable.

  “Not only that,” Nele said, unable to keep a straight face during one of their meals. “These humans apparently have never left their planetary system. Ever!”

  “For serious?” Henar screwed up his face in disbelief. “By the Radiant Benevolency, this incursion will be over in less than half a moon’s turn.”

  The soldiers also were tasked on studying much of Earth’s climate an
d ecosystem. Who knew if the humans or Earth itself had any threats that could harm the Kavii?

  This included the foods, the flora, and the fauna. Henar took severe umbrage with that last area after some in-depth study.

  Oftimes, these humans subjugated certain types of lesser species as “pets.” These pets, many which resembled the Kavii, were forced at times to perform asinine tricks for the humans’ amusement. Earth’s archaic communication networks had countless footage. Seeing just one caused hatred to scorch through Henar’s bones. “This one cannot wait to make these unevolved sapiens kneel to our might.”

  “Agreed!” Leakki and others concurred, equally outraged.

  “And stop their dreadful music!” Osefa added, pumping a curled paw in the air.

  The one negative on this trip through the stars was that Atiga and his minions were also onboard. No thanks to his commandant father, of course.

  Henar had made strides to avoid the trio. The priority was the mission to Earth. And since Henar had no family in the senior military command, he did not want to appear as a cause of disharmony.

  But Atiga just couldn’t help but get in his face, bragging and hurling insults.

  “Think this is where you will make a name for yourself, you son of a bloody hairball?” the towering brute hissed one time. “You will gain no glory from this conquest. No stars on your record. Nothing!”

  Naturally Henar shot back. “And you will probably get yourself killed, given that sterling intellect you barely possess.” His hatred for Atiga was like a disease that knew no cure. Each and every time, Osefa and Nele had to pull him away, as Akko and Kamai did the same with a fuming Atiga.

  After a particularly ugly quarrel where Henar punched Atiga in the loins, the commanding officers felt it best to move Henar to a different level of the ship. Away from his friends. That meant a different group to study Earth with. The only times he now saw Osefa, Nele, and Leakki were during meals.

  Another conflict like that might get Henar thrown in the brig for maiming...or worse.

  When the Kaviian Benevolency decided to bestow the gift of its rule on a fortunate planet, the incursion could happen in one of two ways that Henar knew of.

  When not training in hand-to-hand and armed combat, or studying all aspects of Earth’s history (and what a short one that world had), Henar dove deep into the Benevolency’s Art of Conquest. It truly was an art refined over the near thousand years that the Kavii had dominated this galaxy.

  Henar sat in his quarters crouched on all fours, the hum of the ship engines distant yet serene as he watched the holoscreen floating before him. In the peace and quiet, he digested as much knowledge as he could.

  Some of these holovideos he had watched as a child. But Henar felt giddy and fired up watching them again.

  The Benevolency all started when the Kavii colonized the planetary system of their homeworld Kav. Aside from a rudimentary defense force, the Kavii were a peaceful race focused on agriculture and mining. They had no ambitions of conquest or spreading their influence.

  That was, until the Savage War happened.

  This part always got Henar choked up. The carnage. The hopelessness. The malevolency!

  Some bestial species called the Etamas trying to make their stamp on the galaxy surprised and attacked the Kavii.

  Millions were slain. The Kavii Defense Force was overwhelmed. If the Etamas had been a more intelligent species, the wondrous Benevolency that Henar worshipped would have never formed.

  Thankfully, the Etamas were the stupidest, most arrogant would-be conquerors to ever take space flight.

  Several brave Kavii from what remained of their defense force hijacked a few of the Etamas’ own warships and turned the tide of the war.

  With true weapons of their own and a fury never seen before, the Kavii slaughtered the attacking Etamas. Every. Single. One.

  The Kavii did not celebrate their victory. No. Not while fires still burned on their worlds. Not while millions of innocent Kavii lay dead. This victory had been sheer happenstance.

  The Kavii had then realized what kind of savages existed out there in the black of space. Savages who could attack and lay waste to what the Kavii had built. Savages who had devastating weapons but lacked the intelligence to properly wield them.

  “We must not only prepare ourselves for the worst that space has to offer,” said Tolaath, the Kavii supreme leader from that ancient time. “But we must be a guiding force of benevolence in the darkness around us!” These words, repeated by another Kavii, still felt as if Tolaath himself had risen from the grave to utter them in Henar’s very ears. Electrifying! “We must show them the way. We must be the beacon that all in this chaotic universe look to in their time of need and madness!”

  That day had marked the true birth of the Benevolency. The Kavii had buried their dead, rebuilt their fallen cities, and healed the wounds in their planetary system.

  Beyond that, the Kavii reverse-engineered the Etamas’ warships and devised their own. It took a number of years. But before long, the Kavii’s new military forces had become a force to be reckoned with.

  How amusing to Henar it was knowing the Kaviis’ then intimidating force would have been 1/500 the size of The Benevolency’s current armed forces.

  “We all start somewhere,” Henar murmured, eyes wide with wonder.

  By the end of the history reel, Henar’s fur stood on end. He was ready to fly to Earth by himself and take every single human down singlehandedly. “Puny, puny humans,” he cackled, rubbing his paws together. “Wait till you get a load of Kavii!”

  He was about to begin another video when a beep at his door gave him pause. “Come,” Henar requested, furry brows knitting into a frown.

  The door slid open with a hiss. In came a dark-brown-furred Kavii female, slender in frame and sleek in fur. “Henar, you busy?” Selotho and Henar had gotten friendly since his exile to this new ship level. She shared his passion for the Benevolency and making a name for oneself through conquest.

  Henar felt his whole body warm at the sight of her. “Rewatching Benevolency history footage,” he replied. “The Stages of Conquest. Not sure if you want to watch—”

  “Are you kidding?” Selotho scurried into the room and plopped down by Henar’s side. “This one has seen those holovids like five times since the trip started!”

  Henar gaped at her as if she had a third eye growing on her throat. “Six times,” he said in awe. “Twice yesterday.”

  Selotho’s face split into a grin that displayed pearly, needle-like teeth. “Stop bragging and let’s start watching.”

  The video started with the Eight star and blade logo of the Benevolency and a voiceover. Soon, there appeared footage of an unsuspecting bipedal species on their world as the announcer spoke about a species that posed no threat to the Benevolency.

  “This scenario is approached with five steps. Observance, Infiltration, Invitation, Occupation, Assimilation.” Henar eagerly rocked back and forth on his haunches, even though he already knew what came next.

  “Observe the new species to learn everything about them, their defenses and their weaknesses,” the voice said, showing Kaviis in camouflage watching the generic bipedal races. “Infiltrate their society and co-opt their points of authority.” The visuals now displayed more Kaviis on the move, fast and silent, sneaking into the bipedal species’ halls of power.

  “Invite the species to join the Benevolency willingly.” The footage now displayed Kavii military and diplomatic liaisons speaking with the bipeds, all who trembled before the shorter but more powerful Kavii.

  “If they agreed, then the Kavii would occupy their planet and set in place institutions to properly assimilate the new species into the Benevolency way of life.” The footage switched to showing the biped species living peacefully like before, except their previous buildings and architecture had been replaced by the familiar rounded and woven Kavii structures, with rotund and bulbous-shaped Kavii military ships soaring overhead
.

  Selotho grabbed Henar’s shoulders, startling him. He turned to see her eyes alight with anticipation. “Ooooh, here comes my favorite part.”

  “If the species made the mistake of refusing the Benevolency’s bountiful rule,” the voice took a darker edge, “then we commence with the invasion.” Immediately, the images of bipeds and Kavii at peace were washed away by chaos, fire, and explosions. Kavii warships dominated the skies, turbolasers raining down death from on high to shred through the biped species’ towering metal and glass buildings. “And if the species has any useful resources on their world, we occupy and subjugate!”

  Henar felt electric. A glance at Selotho on his right revealed a similar look. Her presence was a welcome surprise.

  The voiceover went on to the scenario of a species that presented a possible threat to the Benevolency. A species who had a sizeable military and occupied a chunk of the galaxy. The visual was a sea of black dotted with a million twinkling stars, brigades of starships facing each other. Flashes of fire streaking back and forth between the opposing forces. Brief and bright explosions devouring a number of ships before the vacuum snuffed their lights away.

  For species that presented legitimate threats to the Benevolency, the stages of conquest were more direct: Observance, Invasion, Occupation.

  Hostile species only received the gift of assimilation after the Benevolency completely occupied their planet, subjugated their species, and installed institutions to properly incorporate the new species into the Benevolency way of life.

  The presentation ended. The floating holoscreen in front of Henar and Selotho winked out of existence. The two young Kavii soldiers sat, wide-eyed. Henar’s blood scorched as if just winning a battle. Every time he watched those videos felt like the first time. Exciting. Exquisite. To serve the Benevolency was an honor. “That was…” Henar couldn’t find adequate words to explicate his love for the government he served.

  Selotho tore her eyes away from where the holoscreen once hovered and gaped at him, whiskers stick-straight. “By the Benevolency! That was LEGENDARY!”