Pew! Pew! - The Quest for More Pew! Page 14

  “Ben, my name is Dr. John Stone, and you were brought here three days ago after having a psychological episode that resulted in quite a few charges being brought against you,” Dr. Stone said. “You’re in the psych ward at Blythe Hospital.”

  “What do you mean?” Ben closed his eyes, trying to force himself to remember what could have happened. He hoped none of the scattered images in his head were real, but if he was in the psych ward, then he knew he was in for a rude awakening.

  “Well, as it turns out, during your return trip to Earth, you ran out of food rations,” Dr. Stone said, “and your friend,” Dr. Stone made air quotes when he said friend, “said he found some very old boxes of Vienna Sausages tucked in a compartment on your ship. When we ran an analysis, we discovered chemicals used in the preservatives that were banned more than a century ago. Despite the fact you underwent immunizations during your stint in the Army, the chemicals used in these Vienna Sausages did not agree with the cells in your body. Luckily, instead of dying, they created a chemical in your brain reminiscent of an acid trip. You were hallucinating, and each time your body temperature rose, you would sweat profusely as your body tried to fight the pathogens, which increased the frequency of your hallucinations. Your friend said that some of those hallucinations resulted in you seeing space aliens attacking Earth.”

  Ben tried to sit up in the bed, but felt lightheaded from the effort. “I don’t remember any of that,” he said. He felt lucky to be alive, but he wondered how long before that luck ran out. Knowing his run lately, he had about two minutes before the sky began to fall.

  “I believe you, especially after the blood work came back and we discovered just how much of the pathogens were in your body. I must say, you’re probably one the luckiest son of a bitches of ever met, excuse my language. Living off tainted Vienna Sausages for the last couple of weeks of your journey—they should’ve killed you. I guess you were born with a horseshoe up your ass or something,” Dr. Stone said without even a hint of a smile.

  “So, what about the charges?” Ben asked, anticipating jail time for whatever behavior he was not in control of. He could only imagine what kind of things he had taken part in, considering the last time he was drunk he set fire to a tree in the city park. That was five days in jail and a fine. It was also not the best time in his life since he had just been medically discharged from the Army. Though it did catapult him into wanting to do something better with his life.

  “Don’t worry about that,” said a gruff voice said from a dark corner in the room. The figure was sitting, but rose and began walking into the light until Ben recognized it was his father. “After talking to Chip, we were able to get surveillance footage to show your little episode, and we think we have a good plan of action to have all your charges dropped.”

  “Dad, what the hell are you doing here?”

  “Well, son, what kind of welcome is that?”

  Ben felt nauseated seeing his old man in the same room with them. Ever since Ben was dishonorably discharged from the Army, his father always had something negative to say about him. In every important aspect, Ben had been disowned from the family. “I just didn’t think I would ever see you again,” Ben said.

  His father, William, scoffed. “Yeah, well I’ve had enough changes in my life to start to miss the things that are important. Hearing about your crash-landing home and taking out a pizza delivery guy on a scooter by lobbing a can of sausages at his face seemed like a good time to get reacquainted.”

  “What? Did that really happen?” Ben asked, looking at Dr. Stone.

  The doctor smiled. “Yes, and I put the stitches in his face, but don’t worry, he isn’t pressing charges for that.”

  Ben thought he should feel relieved, but instead he felt angry. Coming home was a disaster, just like everything else in his life. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, not looking at anyone directly. “I guess I really farked up this time.”

  Ben’s father stepped forward. “Son, life is full of mistakes. You just have to look past them. Besides, your stunt has really caused a stir with the media and everyone is talking about you. I think there may be some interest is putting your life story to film.”

  Ben was only half paying attention, but the last part of his father’s words seemed to take hold. “What do you mean?”

  “I have some patients to tend to, if you’ll excuse me,” Dr. Stone said as he stepped back from Ben’s bed and disappeared out the door.

  “The media, son. They have a lot of interest in you. No one has traveled all the way to Europa and back solo. Even with the crash, people are tossing the word ‘hero’ around. I think it’s going to stick!” He laughed fiendishly and Ben could imagine his father wringing his hands hungrily as he thought about the potential money coming from his escapade.

  “I’m not real interested in getting any extra attention.”

  William’s jaw dropped. “Seriously? Do you know what kind of payday we could get by selling your story?” When he stopped speaking, Ben could see the miscalculation dawn on his face about what he had said. He could tell William knew he had screwed up by saying “we”.

  “Tell me, Dad, how’s Mom doing?”

  That question changed the mood in the room sharply.

  “Well, that’s a story I’m not sure you’re quite ready for,” William said.

  “I think I am. Spill it.”

  William’s face was stark white when he looked at Ben, his jaw tight and his eyes wide. “I don’t think now is the time, Ben.”

  Ben felt anger burning in his chest. There’s no way Mom would not come here after what happened. Her absence is for a reason. “Tell me, how is Mom doing, Dad?”

  William shifted uneasily. “It’s a long story, son, but your Mom has passed on from this world. I’m sorry to tell you.”

  Ben’s rage caused a sudden and unthinkable action as he rose from the bed, his hospital gown whipping from side to side as he approached his father. Ben ripped the IV from his arm and dropped it haplessly to the floor as his left hand gripped the collar of William’s shirt. He pressed his father against the wall and lowered his tone to something mature and menacing. “You come in here and act like we have a good relationship, talking about fame and fortune for the story of what I’ve gone through, while sitting on the fact my mother s dead? Who do you think you are?”

  “Ben, son, it’s not like that. I just didn’t want the first thing I told you to be bad.”

  Ben punched the wall with Gli+chy, his fist going straight through to the other side. “You’re a miserable sonofabitch, do you know that?”

  “Ben, come on, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  Ben turned on his heels and stalked back towards the bed, his gown exposing both ass cheeks, but he didn’t care at all. “I can’t believe how little you care about your own child. Is financial gain the only reason you came here?”

  William hesitated, his mouth open but no words forming.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Ben said. “I think now would be a good time for you to leave.”

  “Ben?” William said, his voice on the verge of pleading, but Ben could tell his father felt defeated.

  Ben at on the hospital bed, realizing the alarm for his drip was sounding. Two nurses ran into the room, paying no attention to his father as they gathered around Ben and hooked the IV back up to his arm. Ben stared out the window at the gray New York skyline. Somewhere in the distance was the Hudson River, but he could not see it where he sat.

  “Sir, are you all right?” A nurse asked, easing Ben back onto the pillow. He let her without protest.

  “I will be,” he answered, “one day.”

  He paid no attention to what happened next. Instead, he lay, staring off into the nothingness from which he came. Space has more to offer me than home, he thought regretfully. But now I don’t have a ship to get there.

  Chap+er Nine

  Five-thousand freaking channels and nothing’s on. Ben dropped the remote to the television
onto the hospital bed beside him. It had been two days since he woke up and found himself trapped inside four stark-white walls. The psychiatric ward at St. Mary’s Hospital felt like prison. No one ever came to visit him beside his father on the first day. “I’m really starting to miss my ship and Chip,” he said, scratching his ass while the hospital gown draped across the front of his body caused a draft to his posterior. He was starting to get used to it, which he didn’t know was a good sign or a potential problem. He wasn’t wanting to get too comfortable in the “nut-house”.

  Not strapped to any IV poles, or hospital monitors, Ben had relatively free rein in the psych ward floor. But each time he took a stroll down the long corridors, he felt he had to stave off the crazies, especially the females who came on a little too strong for attention. Ben found himself often wishing high school had been like this, but trying to be a responsible adult meant not giving in to the impulse for inappropriate relationships. Dr. Stone did a good job of keeping most of the rambunctious people sedated enough to not care about the new guest in their ward, but the people with the crazy stories always seem to find Ben and wanted to talk to him. Not because they had something crazy to say, per se, but the fact that what he had done seemed extreme, even to them. He tied a half-assed knot on the back straps of his hospital gown to keep from enticing anyone from messing with him as he walked along the eastern wing. The view of the Atlantic Ocean was rather spectacular from this high up. Ben loved to watch the sunrise because it was something he had missed for more than a year on his journey. That, and there was nothing else to do.

  As he walked down the hallway, he was greeted with a chorus of “Good morning, Ben” from both the nurses and some of the patients. Being so early in the morning, most of the more social patients were still asleep and this was the only time he could find enough quiet to keep him from feeling agitated. He greeted each person with a polite nod and a smile, not trying to be rude. After so much time away from humans and only communicating with a robot, it felt weird to suddenly be thrust back into society. But he was also embarrassed, not knowing how much about him the other people knew, and fearing their judgement. Being alone on a long journey in space and crashing your ship was embarrassing enough, but causing a scene while thinking it was an alien invasion was another notch altogether in the belt of lunacy.

  He found a large bay window overlooking the Eastern shore and stood in front of it, peering out over a sliver of New York City with his eyes on the horizon. A pinkish- orange glow was already starting at the very edge of the horizon. He resisted the urge to put his hands on the windows, leaving his fingerprints behind and obscuring the beautiful view, but what he wanted more than anything was to be able to reach out and touch that open world and experience freedom on the outside. I did this to myself, he thought sadly. If I only had sense that God gave a mule, and read that fine print, I never would’ve got on that ship. He felt ashamed of himself for having felt bad about his situation, but he also felt bad for how the joy he had in owning the Shistain waned because of his bad decisions. It wasn’t his ship’s fault that he was prone to poor decision-making. In truth, despite his ordeal, he would love nothing more than to be back on her, accountable to no one but himself. “One day,” he said.

  “Good morning, Ben. I hope you slept well,” Dr. Stone said, startling Ben as he seemed to appear out of nowhere.

  “I’m still not sleeping,” Ben replied dryly.

  “I can give you a prescription,” Dr. Stone suggested.

  Ben shook his head and tried to shove his hands into his pockets, but there were no pockets in the hospital gown. He gritted his teeth at the lapse of thought. “I told you, I don’t want to take any medication.”

  “I understand, but realize you spent so much time away from Earth that your body is confused about days and nights. Add to it the effects of poor diet and how much poison your body consumed when you ran out of rations and ate the tainted Vienna Sausages, the chemicals in your body might not return to normal. Taking medication isn’t a shameful thing.” The doctor stuck his hands into the pockets of his lab coat, and Ben felt himself grow jealous.

  “Thanks, but no thanks, the only thing that can help me is getting out of here,” Ben said as he kept his gaze out over the water and the shifting colors of the sunrise. “Why haven’t I had any visitors?”

  Dr. Stone smiled politely and answered, “you do realize your father was more than willing to stay here with you and keep you company, but you are the one that asked him to leave.”

  “Yeah, it’s because he’s an opportunistic asshole and he was only here because he saw the potential for dollar signs. He doesn’t give a shit about me.” The truth of that statement should have felt like a hot knife stabbed through his heart, but he almost didn’t feel anything at all speaking that sort of truth.

  “Well, your first mate, Chip, does come by often, but because he’s not family, we’re not allowed to allow him on the psych ward floor.”

  Chip? “He’s the closest thing to family that I’ve got. You should let him come up,” Ben said, trying to keep from sounding too excited. He had started to worry that his companion had abandoned him completely. Knowing that Chip tried to visit him each day did make him feel better.

  “I’m sorry, Ben, but the hospital has a strict policy about visitors to this ward. It would not be fair to the other patients,” Dr. Stone said.

  “Fair to the other patients? I don’t really think they’re gonna care if I have an android visitor come and keep me company,” Ben said sardonically. The audacity of hospital policy was about as ignorant as politics in his opinion.

  “Well, he is a sex robot. You don’t want to give the other patients the wrong idea. This is, after all, a hospital,” Dr. Stone replied.

  “Yeah, I guess. So, what’s the chance of my getting discharged out of here?” Ben asked, reaching his hand behind him and pinching the hospital gown closed as a draft tussled the thin fabric, tickling the back of his legs.

  “Well, that all depends on you,” Dr. Stone answered, “the big issue is proving that you’re not a liability to yourself or anyone else. From there, it’s all pretty straightforward.”

  “I’m not a hazard or liability to anyone. You said it yourself, everything that happened was a result of being poisoned by contaminated food. You would think, after all the tests you’ve been running, you would know that by now.”

  “Yeah? I have a case file showing the man’s split open face from when you threw an unopened can of Vienna Sausage at him, thinking it was a grenade being tossed at an alien. I would say, despite the number of tests we’ve been running, we haven’t proven you’re not going to do something similar again.” Dr. Stone avoided eye contact and continued to gaze out the window as Ben gawked at him.

  “Excuse me? With all due respect, Doctor,” he said sarcastically, “if I was a crazy nut job, I would be behaving the same as I did when I was turned over to you. Instead, I still have no memories of ever having done the stuff that you say I’m accused of. I find the only thing in my current situation that might be offensive is being forced to wear this farking hospital gown and showing my ass cheeks to everyone. If you have a case against me, I’d like to see the file. Otherwise, you’re just being a dickbag and holding me here against my will.” Ben said, his voice on the verge of shouting. Down the hallway, Ben could see the tops of heads peering out of doorways at the commotion he was evidently making without realizing it.

  Dr. Stone turned to face Ben with a grim expression. “Your pent-up anger and frustration with your current situation has me worried that your susceptibility to violence might not be a one-time occurrence, Mr. Dale,” the doctor said formally, all cheer and friendliness void of his voice. “I have the district attorney nipping at my heels, wanting me to turn you over so he can continue with the charges initially filed. When I told you I thought we had a good chance of getting the charges dropped, that’s when I was under the impression that your hallucinations were the only side effect of your
ordeal. But the fact you’re unable to sleep, prone to hostility, and unaccepting of the processes we have to do because of the state, I’m not going to sign off on your release. You would do well to accept that as a fact until something can be worked out.” Without waiting for a response, Dr. Stone turned on his heels and walked away from Ben, leaving his patient at the window, a pale, yellow sun glaring for attention through the tinted glass.

  Ben stood there, his hand still clenching the hospital gown closed as he watched the doctor walk away. “Yeah? Well fark you, too,” he snapped before turning back to his room. As he walked through the gauntlet of hospital rooms, eyes stared at him questioningly. “What the hell are you looking at? Haven’t you ever seen a crazy person before?” he shouted. He didn’t mean to lash out at the other patients, but he couldn’t contain his rage any longer.

  As he turned left and stomped into his room, Ben slammed the door behind him. Fark, he thought, I’m never going to get out of here.

  Chap+er +en

  After four weeks in the psychiatric ward, Ben was finally released with an arsenal of medications and a stern warning that “they” would be watching him. He honestly could give less of a shit about being watched. He just wanted to be outside and free. The only thing that sat awkwardly on his shoulders was never recovering the memories of the ordeal. It was as if he had to carry the burden of another person. “Thank God,” he muttered as he was greeted with a breeze. “I’m home.”

  Chip waited outside the hospital on a bench under the bright, mid-day sun. When he looked up and noticed Ben stepping through the doorway, Chip stood up and walked towards his human companion. “It’s so great to see you again, Ben,” Chip said. “The staff would not let me in to see you because I was not considered family.”